Great Lumbering Flying Cathedrals, Batman!
The thing that makes this really bad is that this is the publisher’s own blurb from the back of the book:
Into the vast allegory of Beelzebub’s Tales to His Grandson (All and Everything, First Series), topheavy from its sheer weight of argument and at the same time soaring off into space like a great lumbering, flying cathedral, Gurjieff gathered the fundamentals of his teaching.
Way to sell it, guys!
Rogue Scary Blue Baby
That may be overstating it slightly
The Distressing…Something
Believe The Badness
A Pronunciation Guide to Some Difficult Authors’ Names
With references! Reputable ones! Yay!
Chinua Achebe (CHIN-wah uh-CHEH-beh)
The author pronouncing his own name
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (chih-muh-MAHN-duh en-GOH-zee ah-DEECH-ee-ay)
BookBrowse.com, verified by the publisher
“The ‘ay’ is soft, not quite a diphthong.”
Isabel Allende (ah-YEN-day)
National Library Service, verified by listening to Chilean radio
Maya Angelou (MY-uh AN-juh-loh)
TalkingBooks
Jean Anouilh (zhahn anooy)
Wikipedia
Avi (AH-vee)
TalkingBooks
Mary Balogh (BA-log)
This interview with the author
she says it rhymes with “Kellogg”, but then doesn’t quite rhyme it with Kellogg….anyway, the “g” is pronounced
Roland Barthes (roh-LAHN bart)
standard French pronunciation
Sarah Ban Breathnach (bon brannock)
BookBrowse
Chris Bohjalian (bo-jale-yen)
BookBrowse.com; does anyone have a better source?
Jorge Luis Borges (BOR-hayss)
Merriam-Webster
Ann Brashares (brah-SHARES)
TalkingBooks
John Buchan (BUH-kun, or if you’re Scottish, BUH-khhun)
Merriam-Webster
Meg Cabot (rhymes with “habit”)
TalkingBooks
Albert Camus (ahl-BEHR kah-MOO)
standard French pronunciation
Michael Chabon (SHAY-bon)
New York Times
C. J. Cherryh (like “cherry”)
National Library Service
Pema Chodron (PEH-muh CHOH-drun)
This video interview with Oprah Winfrey
(thanks to our customer who pointed out that the National Library Service has the wrong pronunciation!)
Paulo Coelho (POW-loo KWEH-lyoo)
standard Portuguese pronunciation from Wikipedia
J. M. Coetzee (KOOT see, first syllable rhymes with “foot”; this is the author’s preferred pronunciation)
BBC
Eoin Colfer (first name like “Owen”)
His website
Robert Crais (rhymes with “grace”)
National Library Service
Michael Crichton (KRY-tun)
National Library Service
Junot Diaz (JOO-no DEE-as)
BookBrowse, verified by the publisher
Cory Doctorow (DOC-tuh-roh)
TalkingBooks
John Donne (dun)
Merriam-Webster
W. E. B. Du Bois (duh BOYCE)
National Library Service
Andre Dubus (du-BYOOS)
National Library Service
Jeffrey Eugenides (yoo-JIN-ee-dees)
The Houston Chronicle, as reproduced on this blog
Richard Feynman (FINE-man)
Merriam-Webster
Ken Follett (rhymes with “wallet”)
The author’s website
Cornelia Funke (FUN-kuh, kinda)
TeachingBooks
Diana Gabaldon (English pronunciation: GAB-uhl-dohn, last syllable rhymes with “stone”)
The author’s website
Neil Gaiman (GAY-mun, rhymes with “Cayman” as in the islands)
TeachingBooks
Johann Wolfgang Goethe (YO-hahn VULF-gahng GUH-tuh)
National Library Service
Note that the first syllable in “Goethe” does NOT have an “r” in it. The actual German vowel is not found in English; it does sound a little bit like “ur” to our ears. Hear it spoken out loud on Howjsay.com
Elizabeth Goudge (last name rhymes with “rouge”)
National Library Service
Seamus Heaney (SHAY-muss HEE-nee)
New York Times
Robert Heinlein (like “hine line”)
National Library Service
Carl Hiaasen (HY-uh-sen)
New York Times
(see correction at the bottom)
Brian Jacques (like “jakes”)
The author’s website
Erica Jong (zhong)
This interview with the author
Carl Jung (yoong, with the vowel as in “book”)
standard German pronunciation
Jack Kerouac (like “care uh wack”)
Merriam-Webster
Lisa Kleypas (like KLY pus)
This interview with the author
John Le Carré (luh kah-RAY)
Merriam-Webster
Fritz Leiber (LYE-bur)
The introduction to his Selected Stories
John Lescroart (les-KWAH)
National Library Service
Jonathan Lethem (LEE-thum)
Syntax of Things
Debbie Macomber (may-cumber, rhymes with cucumber)
Her assistant, as quoted on Goodreads (message #8)
Peter Matthiessen (MATH-uh-sun)
Random House Dictionary
Caroline Myss (mace)
Wikipedia
Vladimir Nabokov (vlah-DEE-mir nuh-BOH-koff)
An interview with the author
Kenneth Oppel (same as the gem “opal”)
TalkingBooks
Chuck Palahniuk (like “Paula nick”)
USA Today
Christopher Paolini (pow-LEE-nee)
TalkingBooks
Orhan Pamuk (or-HAHN pah-MOOK)
Inogolo (can anyone confirm?)
Samuel Pepys (peeps)
Merriam-Webster
Jodi Picoult (pee KO)
National Library Service
Tamora Pierce (rhymes with “camera”)
TalkingBooks
Annie Proulx (proo)
National Library Service
Thomas Pynchon (PIN-chun)
Merriam-Webster
Ayn Rand (first name rhymes with “mine”)
National Library Service
Mary Renault (REN-olt)
Mary Renault: A Biography, as cited on Wikipedia
Rainer Maria Rilke (RY-nur mah-REE-uh RILL-kuh)
National Library Service
Rick Riordan (RY-ur-dun)
TalkingBooks
J. K. Rowling (like “rolling”)
Merriam-Webster
Louis Sachar (rhymes with “cracker”)
TalkingBooks
Jon Scieszka (SHES-kuh)
National Library Service
Shel Silverstein (SIL-ver-steen)
National Library Service
Donald J. Sobol (SO-bull)
TalkingBooks
Henry David Thoreau (like “thorough”)
Sidebar on this article from NPR
Paul Theroux (thuh-ROO)
Merriam-Webster’s Encyclopedia of Literature, as cited on The Millions
J. R. R. Tolkien (TOLL-keen)
The Return of The Shadow, as cited on Wikipedia
Abraham Vergese (like “vur GEESE”)
National Library Service
Penny Vincenzi (VIN-shun-zee)
National Library Service
Evelyn Waugh (EVE-lin wah)
National Library Service
Jennifer Weiner (WY-nur)
The author’s blog
Elie Wiesel (elly vee-ZELL)
National Library Service
P. G. Wodehouse (like “woodhouse”)
Merriam-Webster
Herman Wouk (like “woke”)
American Heritage Dictionary
Patricia C. Wrede (REE-dee)
The National Library Service
And if you can’t find what you’re looking for here, you might want to try:
TalkingBooks (worth browsing just for fun!)
The National Library Service
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Not the future of literature…
But still funny. If you have a twisted sense of humor.
This sentence, in a last-ditch attempt to infuse some iota of story line into this paralyzed prose piece, quickly alludes to Billy’s frantic cover-up attempts, followed by a lyrical, touching, and beautifully written passage wherein Billy is reconciled with his father (thus resolving the subliminal Freudian conflicts obvious to any astute reader) and a final exciting police chase scene during which Billy is accidentally shot and killed by a panicky rookie policeman who is coincidentally named Billy. This sentence, although basically in complete sympathy with the laudable efforts of the preceding action-packed sentence, reminds the reader that such allusions to a story that doesn’t, in fact, yet exist are no substitute for the real thing and therefore will not get the author (indolent goof-off that he is) off the proverbial hook.