I’m sure it made sense to somebody

Okay, so that’s a flamethrower.

And that’s a…..bag made out of a Santa costume.

And that’s a………..riding crop with a bone handle?

And those things would be…………whistles? ………………metal nunchucks?

I hope this cover isn’t representative of the plot, ’cause I didn’t think Dick Francis was into surrealism.


Stella is a girl we all know but rarely meet in fiction – seventeen, smart, attractive and deeply alienated.

Where is this fiction the blurb writer is talking about, and where can I find some of it? Or is it the “smart” part that makes Stella different from your usual attractive, deeply alienated seventeen-year-old?

More Photoshop horror

Author: Yay! I’ve signed with a real honest-to-goodness publisher! No self-publication for me!

Editor: Here’s the cover we’re giving your book.

Author: Oh-h-h. Um.

Designer: I just got a new clipart collection I wanted to try out! Isn’t the parrot-tombstone symmetry dandy?

Author madly investigates self-publication options.